Look, I get it. “Woke” is annoying. Not the meaning—just the word. Like “moist” or “synergy,” it triggers something visceral. It’s everywhere. It’s in corporate hashtags, on reusable coffee cups, and occasionally screamed by your uncle who thinks Greta Thunberg is a sleeper agent sent by George Soros and Beyoncé.
But while you’re frothing at the mouth about Dr. Seuss being “cancelled,” may I humbly suggest: maybe, just maybe, the anti-woke movement is the real problem?
Let’s rewind.
What Woke Actually Means (No, It’s Not “Satanic Mind Control”)
“Woke” began as African American Vernacular English, meaning to stay aware of injustice—especially racial. It didn’t mean “vegetarian snowflake,” and it certainly didn’t mean “child of Karl Marx and Satan.”
Being woke was about recognising systemic oppression. You know—those tiny details like slavery, segregation, colonialism, apartheid, genocide, the entire history of patriarchy, and the occasional military dictatorship (hello, Uncle Bob 👋🏾). It was a way of saying: “Hey, maybe treating people like humans should be standard, not a radical act.”
In short, woke meant don’t sleep on injustice. Or, to put it in scholarly terms: woke culture functions as a counter-hegemonic discourse aiming to destabilise normative power structures. And if that sentence gave you a headache, good. That’s the price of being educated in a global capitalist hellscape.
But Then It Got Weird
Now, no movement is perfect. Somewhere between “equal rights” and “let’s ban clapping because it’s too aggressive,” we lost the plot.
The same righteous fury that took down apartheid is now being weaponised against… cartoon wolves in children’s books? And don’t get me started on performative allyship—because nothing says solidarity like Pepsi solving police brutality in a Kendall Jenner ad.
Cancel culture, in its most rabid form, sometimes resembles a digital guillotine powered by Wi-Fi and emojis. And yes, we should talk about that. Silencing debate is dangerous—even when the people talking are objectively wrong and wear bowties unironically.
But let’s not throw out the liberation baby with the problematic bathwater.
Enter: The Anti-Woke Warriors (aka The People Who Get Mad at Muppets)
Somewhere in a retirement home designed by Ayn Rand and Jordan Peterson, a new movement was born: the Anti-Woke Crusade™️.
This movement bravely opposes things like racial justice, gender equality, mental health awareness, and the use of people’s correct pronouns—all in the name of “freedom.” They shout about Orwellian censorship from platforms where their words get more engagement than Rihanna’s pregnancy photos.
It’s a strange revolution. One where the oppressor cosplays as the oppressed. It’s like watching a billionaire complain that the homeless are stealing his Wi-Fi.
They believe woke is destroying civilisation, which is a weird claim from people who think colonialism was a networking opportunity.
Woke Is a Mirror, Not a Weapon
Being “woke” in its real form is just being honest about history and power. And yes, that can be uncomfortable. As someone raised under a post-colonial regime that later forgot what the “post” part meant, I can assure you—history is ugly. But ignoring it won’t make it prettier.
Wokeness says: maybe we should examine how race, gender, class, sexuality, and empire intersect to create injustice. The anti-woke movement says: nah, let’s go back to when jokes were sexist and nobody talked about feelings.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve read enough Zimbabwean newspapers to know that when someone says, “Can’t we just move on?” they usually mean, “Please stop asking about the stolen billions.”
This Isn’t New. It’s Just Rebranded Backlash.
Every progressive movement in history has faced a backlash disguised as “common sense.” When women wanted to vote, they were told it would end marriage. When Black people wanted freedom, they were told they weren’t ready. When gay people wanted to exist, society screamed, “Think of the children!” (still unclear why children are always the excuse, unless they’re queer, at which point: silence).
Anti-woke hysteria is just the latest remix. The melody hasn’t changed: privilege panics when it’s asked to share.
Final Thoughts Before I’m Cancelled for Owning a Brain
Yes, woke culture has excesses. But at its heart, it’s about confronting uncomfortable truths. The anti-woke movement? It’s about sprinting in the opposite direction while yelling, “I’m not racist, but…”
Here in Victoria Falls, I’ve seen the power of truth and storytelling. We live on land layered with colonial scars and liberation myths. To be “woke” here is to acknowledge both. It’s to say: the past isn’t behind us—it’s standing at the bar, ordering a Zambezi lager and refusing to leave.
So, next time someone says “woke is ruining the world,” ask them: “Compared to what?” The alternative is a numb society that mistakes cruelty for comedy and ignorance for pride.
And if you’re still mad at Sesame Street for introducing a Black puppet with anxiety, maybe you’re the one who needs to wake up.
Want more unsolicited opinions with a sprinkling of African realness, global satire, and pop culture snark? Head to blissfulignorance.online. Where being smart and sarcastic is a lifestyle—not a microaggression.
Shall we write the follow-up piece on cancel culture next?