News Explainers , Opinion , Satire
May 14, 2025

Afrikaner Refugees Flee South Africa… Straight Into a Trump Rally and the Arms of Fox News

Imagine this: you’re part of a settler colonial elite that enjoyed over three centuries of stolen land, free labour, racially segregated suburbs, and the unique privilege of not knowing who Brenda Fassie is — and then democracy happens. Tragic. So, like any self-respecting heir of colonial plunder, you pack your bags, grab your Bible, forget your history, and declare yourself a “refugee” fleeing the horrifying, unspeakable terror of… equality.

Opinion , Satire
April 30, 2025

Woke Up Like This: Why the Anti-Woke Movement Needs a Nap

Look, I get it. “Woke” is annoying. Not the meaning—just the word. Like “moist” or “synergy,” it triggers something visceral. It’s everywhere. It’s in corporate hashtags, on reusable coffee cups, and occasionally screamed by your uncle who thinks Greta Thunberg is a sleeper agent sent by George Soros and Beyoncé.
But while you’re frothing at the mouth about Dr. Seuss being “cancelled,” may I humbly suggest: maybe, just maybe, the anti-woke movement is the real problem?
Let’s rewind.

Business , Features , Opinion
April 25, 2025

Is Trump Actually Backing Down from the Tariffs?

In what can only be described as the most Trumpian of reversals, the former president seems to have executed a sudden pirouette on his once-beloved tariff policy. After months of gloating about the success of his trade wars, it looks like Donald J. Trump might be backpedaling faster than a high-speed chase in a getaway […]

Business , News Explainers , Opinion , Satire
April 24, 2025

Taxed, Then Untaxed: South Africa’s VAT Rollercoaster and the DA’s Selective Amnesia

So, picture this: You’re halfway through your grocery run, your basket’s already brimming with budget-friendly trauma, and then the news drops like a potato in a no-bag zone—South Africa is hiking VAT. You look at your 2-minute noodles, your bread, your imposter cheese, and think, “They wouldn’t dare.” Oh, but they did. And then—surprise!—they un-did. […]